The Big Break
Switch Magazine - Edition 4 - March 10, 2014
The Big Break by Talia Rinaldo
Once upon a time in a far away land, the Princess married the Prince and they lived happily ever after - well at least that’s what we always thought it was supposed to be. Today, it seems everyone knows some whose parents have split up, which lends to the statistic that around 1 in 4 people will experience the divorce or permanent separation of their parents before the age of 18. This can result in emotional and economic hardship for the family.
You would have noticed, either through your own experience, or that of a friend, that there will be a mass of changes happening when going through a parent’s divorce, some that can’t be controlled or that may be difficult and heartbreaking. Despite wanting what every child wants - their mum and dad to remain together in their home bearing all your memories - it is important that you understand that sometimes things just don’t work... and that’s okay.
Jenna, 20, has learnt a lot going through her parents’ divorce at 12 years old, now appreciating the little disguised blessings that her parent’s broken story has had on her life so far. She discovered that her family was now more stable and her relationships with both parents are stronger than before. As we get older, we see that no parents are perfect. Obviously the stress and insanity of raising us children are absolutely exhausting and our parent’s frustration can be taken out on each other, putting marriage on the backburner. This is completely normal and it is not our fault. Sometimes people don’t work together, and they stopped loving each other and trying to make it work. Whatever the reason, it’s okay for people to make mistakes, we are human after all.
Jenna has learnt that the best thing to do is to try and keep a normal routine. This may seem difficult, especially if you are juggling between two houses, but continuing with your hobbies, friends and schooling will keep you distracted from what’s going on at home. While enduring the rollercoaster of emotions associated with your parents separating, it is important not to forget about your feelings too. Often talking to someone outside your family can help expose certain feelings and offer ideas about how to deal. This can include a friend, neighbour, teacher, professional psychologist or a school counsellor. There is nothing to be ashamed about and taking care of yourself is an important element in getting through.
From her parents, Jenna has uncovered what she wants in her relationships, learning to put 100% into them because she doesn't want to repeat her parent's past. It is valuable to take out of the experience everything you have learnt and the strength that you can apply to your own life and future experiences. Remember, you are strong and resilient. You will survive this, and it will give you the strength to appreciate the little things in life. Time heals all wounds and fairytales can be re-written.
Want to talk to someone but don’t know who? Call Kids Helpline on 1800551800.